Innocently enough I started with Google; the blood stirred with excitement at the thought of either my web page or blog showing up in response to a search. Key words highlighted in the summary to denote how I related to what someone out there was interested in. Would this page be the one to crack the top 100! Ah you say the youthful enthusiasm of a new blogger, how refreshing, how innocent, how naive. Like the country rube in the big city for the first time I seduced by the glitter and the potential. Willing to try one thing after another in that quest for the ultimate fulfillment.
Google ad sense, google search bar, poproxey search bar, blogroll, what ever I could get my grubby little publicity starved hands on. Face glued to screen filling out form after form in the hopes of gaining one more hit, one more visitor. Sign up here, sign up there password log in whatever it took to salve the monster appetite for increased traffic.
Early mornings I would be reading articles on the"how tos" and "where fores" of submissions. Searching, endlessly searching for the pot of gold at the end of the submissions rainbow. Tweak this and polish that; direct my feed hither and yonder....I even found myself learning html code, and babbling excitedly to my wife, "look what I can do" as I proudly showed off my centre aligned text, bold and underlined. Her glazed eyes spoke volumes.
I found myself at four thirty this morning fighting with a feed engine, or whatever its called, attempting to get it to accept my web site, and it continually saying that the address did not exist, or could not be verified. I hadn't written anything on my blog, or updated my web site. I got off the computer frustrated and cranky. It's only now that I realize I have a problem. I have tweaked myself out of the reasons for having a blog. The technology has become the goal not the means of fulfilling a goal. I have to face facts... I had become a techno junkie!!!
They say that acceptance is the first step in dealing with an addiction, and I know that the battle is only just beginning. I will have to be firm with myself: No more fiddling, no more tweaks. The second step of my personal twelve step program will be to go to my favorites and remove the links to all the helpful hint pages and then three clean out the inbox of my yahoo email client of membership links. The fourth will be to promise to avoid the temptation of checking my site meter on a daily basis, once a week will suffice. Number five will be to limit my computer time to actual writing- six through twelve will be to remind myself that life exists outside of the computer.
My shame is that I used to laugh at people who existed in chat rooms, obsessed with internet terms, and talked about permalinks, hyperlinks, java script, and code as if nothing else mattered. I looked in the mirror today and what I saw wasn't pretty, and I have decided to make that change for the better. I'll just have to take it one day at a time... Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
I would like to take this time to reach out a compassionate hand to my fellow bogers who find themselves falling into the same pit. Maybe we should form a support group...Start a blog or forum...hmm with multiple feeds, and we could get submissions from people all over the world, and.... oh well maybe not.